A few years ago I wrote a blog post telling how sad I was to miss out on national events and holidays in Vietnam. Little could I imagine, fast forward four years later, I have not only missed all Vietnamese holidays and national events, but also been missing my friends and family’s major personal events.
It was my high school best friend’s birthday yesterday, so I texted him a bit. He told me about his coming wedding this October, and I couldn’t help but broke down to tears. I’m so happy for him, but I also had to say sorry because I won’t be able to come back to Vietnam for his wedding. My text said “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. We grew up together and been through so much shit together but on one of your most important days I couldn’t make it. But you are always on my mind and you are my best best best friend and I always want the best best best things for you”.
I told myself we have been friends for more than 10 years and will be friends for many more years to come, so it is okay to not be there in person for a couple of milestones. It just means I have to be there for them in the future. And I will. I promise myself and promise to all of my friends.
I just wish that me of years ago when dreaming about travelling the world and studying abroad had known being away comes with its own cost. It gives me space for personal growth, but I will miss out on all of the important events in my people’s lives – the people who I grew up with and shaped me into who I am today. It means I will discover scientific novelty, but I will not be there when daily normal life events happen. And people who I love to death will not be here by my side when my normal life events happen.
Let’s hope this cost is worth it. Let’s keep hope.
Sorry for this random fragmented blog post. It’s just a tad bit difficult to see life happen without me.
Ha Vu 